What an up and down world!

Hello, friends!

One would think, since I am in the theme park capital of the world, that I would get used to roller coasters. However, when they are of a personal nature, I do not think any amount of theme park rides will help adjust one to the thrills and chills of life.

In terms of work-related roller coasters, I did get cast in Star Wars Weekends again! Yay! Up! Oh, but wait, I got cast as a Sub.. Down! I have been friends with the primary Jawas for three years in a row (this is my fourth), and I also got cast in the Last Tour to Endor last year when Star Tours was closing down for refurbishment. Now that Star Tours was reopening, I somehow was demoted to Sub, which means I am guaranteed to do the event just one day out of the twelve. During rehearsals, Subs are given a chance to get switched to Primary if they outshine the others. However, I never got a blocking run (knowing where you're supposed to go onstage), fumbled with a prop, and was later told by the director that I "move too much." !!! This director has known me for three years, and NOW I move too much? Oh, and the Primaries have never done this event before, and I doubt if one of them has even seen the Star Wars movies.

Right, so I'm bummed and having a string of bad days, but do you know what happens? That strange thing called joy that Abba has given me. I can't stay down; Abba has filled my life with wonderful friends who encourage me. I start to smile. I donate blood and give to charities, and I realize the world is a much bigger place than me or Star Wars Weekends even. I'm still sad I am not doing all twelve days this year, but I did vicariously get to ride the ride with George Lucas, and there's always next year. :)

On a more personal note, my relationship with Joe has definitely done a corkscrew on this roller coaster ride of life. We had been together just over three months, and I started to doubt whether or not I could shine for Jesus better without Joe than with him, so I made the choice to break up with him. I figured that he could take that time of being single again to focus on his relationship with God and figure out what God wanted to do with his life. Little did I know that I also had to face up to my own dragons in dealing with trusting in men. Abba really used the time of my being single again to realize that I must trust Him enough to allow myself to not only love a man, but also to be loved by a man. Wha-at? A man could show me a deeper understanding of God's love for me? I never knew that that was possible until God gave me Joe.

Well, two weeks of soul-searching later, Joe and I had a date at Ghirardhelli's. Yes, even after I broke up with him, he continued to love me and make sure that I felt beautiful. In my experience, guys have completely left me once our relationship was broken. Not Joe. Anyways, he shared how he had discovered what his true passion in life is, and how he wants to shine for Jesus here on earth. With tears in his eyes, he told me his dream of helping end child abuse, and making sure that every child knows that he or she is loved. Now THAT is a dream I can share! :D And as for me, I am learning to take a leap of faith and trust this guy that Abba has put in my life. :)

So Joe and I are good now, better and stronger than ever before, and we're giving everything to God. Life is still a balancing act, and I can't tell whether the track ahead of me is going to be up or down or another corkscrew, but I'm grateful that I know Who's in control.

I'm reminded of these two passages of Scripture:
2 Corinthians 4:8-11 NIV
8 We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 10 We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 11 For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body.

and Romans 8:38-39 NIV
38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[a] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

I hope you are blessed today, and I fervently pray that you experience God's joy in your life, through all the ups and downs that are ahead! I love you with my life!